Pandemic Disappointment

I found out yesterday that there's a new Steinbeck biography coming out called Mad at the World, the first in 25 years as the marketing claims.

After filling out the "Tell Us What to Buy" form on the Ventura County Library website, to urge the powers that be to buy it, I suddenly remembered an old friend I hadn't seen in a while. It resided comfortably at the Ojai Library, possibly my favorite library in Ventura County (it feels like a wood-paneled reading room without the wood paneling, although its ceiling beams are crucial to that atmosphere), and one of my all-time favorite libraries, alongside Lied Library at the University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV), the Boulder City Library well removed from Las Vegas, and of course the Ventura College Library (more formally the Evelyn and Howard Boroughs Library).

In the Ojai Library, my old friend used to face the first window before the side entrance to the Ojai Library because that's where biographies once were. It was a paperback edition of John Steinbeck, Writer by Jackson J. Benson, that I occasionally bumped into in past years elsewhere, but never fully read it. 

The Ojai Library not only invites you to explore what's deepest in your mind, but gently encourages you to give a try to that which you put to the side but can't completely dismiss because it's part of you. Before the end of last year, when my mother, my sister and I were in Ojai, I vowed to take it home with me and try it again, instead of eyeing it hopefully and then walking away like I usually did, certain that I already had too many books to carry home with me on the bus. I wanted a souvenir of Ojai to take home and this was it, and generally, whenever I checked out books in person from that library, I always read them because I didn't want to lose the magic I felt they had by dint of living there.

Here's the thing about institutions, such as libraries, that are closed during the pandemic: The people who make them what they are get busy. They reorganize. They streamline. Projects that were pushed to the netherworld because of the sheer number of things to do every day to keep a library open to the public rise and demand the attention that they know is now there.

For libraries, this also means weeding the stacks, taking a good hard look at what's gotten dusty, waterlogged, warped, but stayed on the shelves because that's what the library had. Take a book still readable in those conditions off the shelf and the hole it creates might not be filled. It's budgets, how many new books can be bought in the fiscal year, and a host of other factors. Sentimentality comes into the weeding, but there's no place for it if the library is to remain vital and approachable.

That's the reasonable, public-facing explanation. Sadness is left to patrons like me.

It's not that John Steinbeck, Writer is bad; it was always just the sheer length of 1,184 pages that I didn't have the patience for throughout the years, much as I admire Steinbeck and want to know more about him. The same thing happened that time before the end of last year. I didn't get through it. Now that I've taken up reading a lot more than I used to (and not just because of the pandemic; this has been going on before that), I figured that it was time to seek out my old friend, that somewhat waterlogged copy sitting elsewhere in the Ojai Library, away from that particular window, but still there.

I thought it would still be there. I looked it up in the Ventura County library catalog, and I was crestfallen. All there is of Jackson J. Benson is his biography of western writer A.B. Guthrie, Jr. and his anthology of critical essays about Steinbeck's short novels such as Of Mice and Men and Cannery Row. My old friend, one of many things that made me feel at home at the Ojai Library, is gone. Weeded. Every time I went to the Ojai Library, before biographies were moved, I looked for it as I passed by that first window, and sometimes that was all I would see of it. But it comforted me that it was there, the possibility that I might try again. With this pandemic, there are a lot of "Had I knowns..." in the world and of course, had I known, I would have sat down and finally read it the last time I checked it out of the library.

I decided to do something to honor it. From what I can tell so far, Interlibrary Loan isn't available again yet in Ventura County. I'm sure that not every participating library is at full strength yet for that. I wasn't going to wait, though. So I went to AbeBooks and found a fairly reasonably-priced paperback edition of John Steinbeck, Writer, under $10, which, for a 1,184-page book is pretty damn good.

This time, I will sit down and read it. Not because I paid for a copy, but because my old friend deserves it as a fond farewell. Should the day come when I can once again go inside the Ojai Library, I'll miss seeing it. I hope it got at least one more try with someone else.