Wednesday, December 24, 2014

The Passive-Aggressive Washing Machine, or: Who Ya Gonna Call?

Amongst the features in our still-new apartment is a passive-aggressive washing machine. You put in your detergent and your clothes (or vice-versa), turn the knob to the setting you want, and then it locks the lid, to "sense" how much water it has to spurt into the tub. This takes about an hour and a half.

Then, after spit-taking water into its tub for 2 hours, it says, "Okaaaay. Okaaaay. I'll get staaaarted." It does, turning and turning in an annoyed, gun-metal mechanical sound, quieter than our other machines. So it has that going for it, and a dryer that, thanks to having gas in this apartment, only takes 20 minutes to dry a large load. But it still remains the passive-aggressive washing machine. Or the Ghostbusters washing machine, being that when it "senses" how large a load is in the machine, it bangs around like a ghost inside the Ghost Trap.


In the bathroom across from the bedroom/den belonging to my sister and I in our family's new apartment (she has the bedroom side, while I converted the den side into my bedroom. Smaller, but it has all the space I need for my books. We moved on Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm sure I'll have more to write about in the weeks ahead. There's just been no time while working and writing book reviews and trying to get my own writing projects going), there's a green light over the toilet that she and I call Blinky. It's convenient at, say, 4 in the morning, not having to turn on the bathroom light because that small light on the quiet, ever-running fan keeps blinking whenever someone's in the bathroom. Sure, it goes on and off and on and off rapidly, but there's enough light there to do what you need to and wash your hands afterward.

To some, it might seem like using the bathroom during an acid trip or a Vietnam flashback. But at that hour of the morning, the bathroom can be as green as it wants. I only wish there were a few Alice in Wonderland elements within it to make it more fun.

Nevertheless, I'll do my best to post more here.