Be a Rock Star on Mars

I hope Charlie Sheen makes people realize in some way that we can't put more quarters into this thing.

Live right now.

Live loud.

Live proud.

Hunter S. Thompson on Disney Property

Eminent Southern foodie and writer John T. Edge came up with a great image in his book "Apple Pie: An American Story." He experiences immediate disappointment at a pie festival held at Disney's Celebration development after a slice of pie turns out to be frozen, and pushed by one of many corporate pie types there, including Entenmann's, Mrs. Smith's, Sara Lee, and Edward's. I'll quote him now:

"I toss my slice in the trash and cast about for a diversion. It's time for a drink. I take refuge in what passes for the local den of iniquity, Sherlock's of Celebration. After drowning my disappointment with a couple of beers, I return to the festival. Turns out that Main Street USA looks better with a buzz on. I look for coconspirators, for fellow travelers inclined to poke sharp sticks at this false pageant. I even concoct a daydream wherein I'm joined by Hunter S. Thompson, whom I find leaning against a lamppost, a flask of Wild Turkey jutting from his back pocket."

I love that! And I love imagining Thompson wandering around Walt Disney World, horror in his eyes.

Oscar Review

*Feeling the need to ride the fast-fading trend, review of the Oscars here. Complaints about the hosts, the show running way too long (I think I saw into the 22nd century while watching it), nominees robbed, winners deserving of it, Kirk Douglas better than the somnambulistic James Franco (Maybe Kirk Douglas should host next year), comments on fashions, wishing Anne Hathaway had done a striptease, thanking Yahweh it all ended.*

There. Done. Now we can get back to far more important things, like marveling at the new, much more surreal Charlie Sheen.

From Tape to Tivo: Empty Nest Returns

I was 16 the last time "Empty Nest" aired in syndication in the United States. You want to know how far back that was? It was 2000. I lived in South Florida. I used VCR Plus to set up those 5 and 5:30 a.m. syndicated recordings. As big a fan of "The Golden Girls" that my dad is, that's how much I love "Empty Nest." In fact, as often as he watches "The Golden Girls" is as often as I would have watched "Empty Nest" if it had been released on DVD.

Now I found out just this morning that "Empty Nest" was acquired by Hallmark Channel and is airing right now in a 24-hour marathon. As soon as I read that, I turned on the Tivo, deleted most of the movies I had recorded (and added them to my Netflix queue), and set up for recording nearly all the episodes airing, save for the ones that repeat later into the evening. It's said that "Empty Nest" will join the regular schedule on Hallmark Channel some time in March, but no specific start date has been decided upon yet. Even so, I'm hoping that this somehow leads to a DVD release. My dad has all 7 seasons of "The Golden Girls" on DVD. I'd like to do the same for "Empty Nest."

Also, I just got home from a long day of errands (and wings at Wing Stop), and found that my share of the "Empty Nest" marathon (every episode from 10-something this morning when I first found out, to 8:30 p.m.) was 20 episodes. Bliss! Pure bliss! When it begins airing regularly on the Hallmark Channel, you bet I'll have it on as often as my dad has on "The Golden Girls." And I'll memorize the entire series just as well as he has that.

A Farewell to a Library System

On March 14th, the County of Los Angeles is no longer allowing patrons of the Valencia, Newhall, and Canyon Country libraries of the Santa Clarita Valley to place holds on any items that would come from the libraries of the County, ahead of the City of Santa Clarita taking control of those three libraries on July 1, to ensure that nothing belonging to the County gets lost in the process.

I'm disappointed. The three libraries have a fair amount of books, but not always the ones I'm looking for. "Moon Over Madeline Island" is one reason I loved the County of Los Angeles library system. I usually bumped into books and took a chance on them. And that one was one of the most rewarding.

There's a lot that doesn't please me about this takeover, particularly the fact that a small corporate outfit on the east coast that specializes in running libraries will run these three libraries. No member of the City Council that made this decision owns a library card. Go figure. And the penchant for that kind of exploration is limited when the books are limited to those three libraries.

So I will miss many books. I will miss the copy of "Subways are for Sleeping" by Edmund G. Love from the Hawthorne branch that I didn't buy. I alternated between that one and the one I own, whichever library would ship it to the Valencia branch first. I will miss "The Music of Your Life" by John Rowell, even though the copy from Valencia is no longer there. I was prowling those shelves many years ago and, yes, bumped into it. I own my own copy, but it was so special that first time.

I won't quite miss the copy of "Travels with My Aunt" by Graham Greene, though I forgot which branch it came from. In that instance, it was more about the words than the book itself. The book was an important conduit, but the copy I bought off of abebooks.com and received some weeks ago is the one that will begin my long history with this story.

Two weeks ago, I returned a widescreen VHS copy of the movie "Travels with My Aunt" to the Valencia library, where it had come from, and I immediately put it back on hold on my card, figuring that the library would put it back on my holds shelf for me to pick up. They didn't. They took it out of circulation. Gone forever. It's why I bought a used copy off Amazon for $12.97. I hope it's been used carefully. I'll miss that copy because it's one of the few instances where I love both the book and the movie.

And, oh god, I'm going to lose a slew of books by Quentin Crisp. Now I won't be able to check out "The Naked Civil Servant," "Resident Alien: The New York Diaries," "How to Go to the Movies," "Manners from Heaven," "How to Become a Virgin," and "Doing It With Style." No copies to be found in this valley, since it's relatively conservative. And even though I haven't checked it out in a long time, nor do I own a copy, I will miss "Lawnboy" by Paul Lisicky, a Florida-set novel that's available from only two libraries that aren't in this valley.

I could go on for pages and days, but it's too criminal to continue giving personal evidence that this move by the City Council is foolish beyond the capacity for foolishness. I am pleased to see, though, that the same hardcover copy of "The Remains of the Day" by Kazuo Ishiguro that I checked out about a year after we moved here, the one that made it one of my favorite books, still remains at the Valencia library, and is currently checked out. I hope whoever is reading it feels the same way I do about it.

Back to Madeline Island

Last week, I absolutely devoured "Moon Over Madeline Island" by Jay Gilbertson. I bumped into it while looking for Madeline books in the County of Los Angeles library catalog for my sister to read to our dogs. Instead of putting away a gallon-sized tub of Extreme Moose Tracks ice cream (which has the weighty sin of thick ribbons of fudge) like I used to when I was over 70 pounds heavier, I eat up books in much the same manner.

After finishing "Moon Over Madeline Island", I learned from the author's note to the reader in the back that Gilbertson had planned to continue the lives of these wonderful, wonderful characters. I found out that the sequel was called "Back to Madeline Island", was published in 2006, and the library system didn't have any copies. I wasn't going to hesitate in buying a copy, and I did, off of abebooks.com for $3.95 ($1 for the book, $2.95 for shipping).

I received it today and smiled big when I pulled it out of its packaging. I flipped through the pages, sensing something between two of them, and in the middle of the book, I found a bookmark someone had left behind. It's a painting of what looks like a modest English countryside, with muddy ground, a few small puddles in that ground, and a gate a little under halfway above the bottom of the bookmark. I looked at the back of the bookmark, found that it was "Printed in England" and was "Designed by Michele Emblem." As I've just gotten back on the computer after most of the day off it, I haven't yet Googled her name, but I'm impressed by this bookmark. I do wonder, though, if the former reader of "Back to Madeline Island" noticed the bookmark missing after they had given the book away by whatever means, and if they miss this bookmark. Nevertheless, it feels like a bookmark made just for this book and it's the one I'm using. I'm on page 135 at the moment, and this after finishing the last 300 pages of "My Life So Far", Jane Fonda's autobiography. I wasn't going to wait to start this, no matter how much I've already read today.

Edited to add at 10:20 p.m. - From what I can glean after Googling, the bookmark printer spelled Emblem's name wrong. Two "l's." And not a whole lot of information available about her other artwork or even this particular piece.

Are Those Cat Toys in Your Living Room or Are You Just Preparing to Lambast Men Again?

I don't have anything novel-size to say at the moment, but I did want to link to this in order to complain, and perhaps rightfully so:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704409004576146321725889448.html

Look, Ms. Hymowitz; if you'd look beyond your fucking statistics and your fucking stuck-up words, you'd find me. But thank god I'd never seek you. I know where the good women are. You're not one of them.